


Trust, Acceptance and Honesty

by drjekyllandmrhyde10



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 17:56:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11674188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drjekyllandmrhyde10/pseuds/drjekyllandmrhyde10
Summary: What happened to Malec after 2x18





	Trust, Acceptance and Honesty

**Author's Note:**

> My mandatory what happened revived! I am on vacation so I didn't plan to write anything until the vacation is over but the Malec feels the last episode brought was too much. I titled the story based on what I saw on those three flashbacks. And I know almost all people involved in SH guaranteed a happy Malec ending so I won't complain. The last episode was probably one of the best Malec so far. Kudos to all of them. (Still crying here...)

Magnus walked home. It was not unusual for the High Warlock of Brooklyn to take the mundane way going home seeing as he needed this more than anything. If only his precious decanter were still there waiting for him. But he already cleaned those yesterday and with all the things happening to him right now, he never had the time or the urge to magic a new set of his favorite liquor.

The night will end again with him alone in his loft. With his thoughts and his aching heart.

Nothing new. Just...not used to.

One mundane he met a couple of years ago mentioned that all it takes is 2 weeks for something to become a habit.

In Magnus' case, it was a someone.

Alec became his habit. And Magnus knew this was something he won't be able to get over with as long as he exist.

His heart did another painful throb. It was like someone was squeezing it too hard. It was making him run out of air. The cold wind biting through his thick jacket was not helping either. The way back home was making him nauseous. 

This was his and Alec's usual route when they go back to his loft. They're...favorite.

Alec once complained why couldn't they just take a short cut and Magnus would smile and hold the Shadowhunter's hands. Alec would smile and didn't complain until they reach the house. 

Alec mentioned right after they entered the loft that he understood Magnus' desires to take the long way whenever they go home.

It made the end of the day longer. It made their time together never ending. Magnus could be with him more before he went back to the Institute. Even those couple of few minutes were precious enough; they'd take it anytime.

Magnus inhaled deeply. Maybe it was not wise to walk. Too late though, he could almost see the familiar facade of his loft. 

* * *

Alec heaved a breath and supported himself at the nearest wall. There were spots in his eyes and anytime he blinked, it didn't go away. His ears were ringing and instead of the white noise he usually heard when he's thinking, he could hear Magnus. 

Those words the warlock left him drilled repeatedly in his brain, making his skull ache. Every word was like a dagger trying to twist its way into his gut. Every emotion that reflected in Magnus' eyes were like water, suffocating him. 

Alec was a good swimmer, second best to Jace. But he was drowning.

A hand interrupted his thoughts. It was Izzy. The look in her eyes made Alec realized that she probably heard everything. Alec closed his eyes. He couldn't even open his eyes to assure his sister that he was fine. That as the Head of the New York Institute, this kind of weakness was unacceptable. There were more pressing matters on hand, incomparable to the way his heart shattered to million pieces and fell on the Institute's centuries old rug.

Alec could pick those later. When he could. When he could be Alexander again. When he's alone in his room instead of being with Magnus.

Alec almost scoffed. There's no chance for him to go back to the loft again. Two nights ago was probably the last time he'd sleep soundly. The last time he'd never feel cold during the night. The last time he'd wake up to the smell of sandalwood beside him.

"Alec...are you okay?" Izzy softly asked. He raised his head and smiled. Of couse he's fine. His romantic drama could wait. If he's Magnus, the warlock would do the same.

Alec smiled and he didn't a mirror or someone else to tell him that that smile never reached his eyes.

"I'm fine Izz. Is Max good now? I need to make a report and---"

"Alec, me, Jace and Clary could handle the report." Izzy looked around. "Where's Magnus?"

When silence answered her, she sighed. "You should go back at the loft and apolo---"

"Magnus broke up with me Izzy. There's no..." Alec shut his eyes. "There's no loft that I could come back to anymore."

Izzy knelt down and squeezed his knee. "Hey...it's impossible Magnus broke up with you. He needed time Alec. He had a right to be mad. But he loves you. He'd---"

"---never come back." Alec finished Izzy's words, feeling the same dagger twisting his heart. The pain was a like a demon; eating you piece by piece until there's nothing left of you. And yet you knew you're still a functioning man that needed to live.

But how could you live when you're already dead inside?

"Are you really just gonna give up?" Izzy tried to catch his brother's eyes. "Gonna give up on Magnus? On your love to him?" 

Again, Izzy didn't hear any response.

**Author's Note:**

> Mistakes are all mine. For now, this was what my muse was crying after watching that episode. Maybe after rewatching it like a gazillion times, my muse will be inspired again.


End file.
